tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1231706156891975902024-03-13T09:57:10.118-07:00Forget about loveTake a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-29630610904756871702013-02-04T11:51:00.004-08:002013-02-04T11:51:53.702-08:00Something WeirdI have found myself in a hard place. I think we as the Female gender tend to make things of the heart how we want them to be in our minds. If we want him to be our boyfriend in our mind he is. When he says something completly normal we think its the cutest most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to us. Its a flaw, at least for me it is. I have of course "fallen in love" with a guy that lives by me. Normally I have no problem making a move. But with this guy I cant tell if he like me or if I have made it up in my mind. <br />
Things he does<br />
1. We talk about everthing together<br />
2. When we go out he pays<br />
3. We are cuddle buddies(no kissing)<br />
4. He cooks for me<br />
5. He defends me agaist stupid boys<br />
6. We watch and talk sports together<br />
7. He has hung out with my brother<br />
8. We just joke and smile all day<br />
9. He texts and calls me<br />
10. He calls him apartment....our apartment...also he got me a christmas tree for christmas. Best thing ever.<br />
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But as far as big moves go, he has not made them. WHAT? Am I crazy. Do I just want him to like me so bad that I have backed him into a corner that he can not get out of? Also If I go for this I have to tell the Wonderful guy that was going to move here for me this summer not to. Its kinda a big deal so I want to be sure before I try to change this situation. But oh my god, at the risk sounding like a silly little girl. Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-9236245489264224992012-12-09T14:34:00.001-08:002012-12-09T14:34:21.801-08:00Where ever you are.......<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's so easy to get carried away. I dont know if that just me and everyone else can be calm and cool. But I can not make my self hold back. Don't jump into this Mindy. Be cool. He is just a friend. Other girl are aloud to talk to him. But I can't. <br />
Zac this summer was by far the biggest adventure that I have had so far. Running around Asia being in love. Farris Wheels, food, laughing and pure happyness. I do not think I have ever felt so free to do whatever I want. Whatever made me happy. For once I saw the hot, cool, fuuny guy and I took him. Not all the way......but GOD....sleeping next to him was kinda a dream. I'm never that girl. I'm the play it safe girl. And it paid off, however now I have gotten into a pretty big mess. After our amazing summer together we decided we were going to move in together....what Mindy? why would you think that was a good idea. He used to allways be on my mind and now he is move like a fleading thought, a nice memory to get me through the day. But someone to change my whole life for? I dont't think so. Maybe he can move to Utah. But I think he just gets to be in my fairy tale world. Its sad because running off to start my new life with him would have been amazing. But I have collage and jobs and friends and most importantly I need to find someone who wants to have a family with me. Wants to help me make lots and lots of babies. As many as possible. That is my real fairy tale. <br />
Next post.....BNDTake a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-4129354094022276272012-09-10T20:17:00.001-07:002012-09-10T20:17:24.716-07:00A new startIts been awhile. I went on an adventure and I found love. Real love? who knows. I would love to live in a world where he loves me back and wants to be with me forever. It was the most romantic summer of my life.<br />
Playing in the rain<br />
Hotels<br />
Stars<br />
Laughing and talking<br />
Sleeping together<br />
Presants<br />
Adventures<br />
Tears. <br />
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And the best part. He does not even love me back. He said he did and he wrote me a letter saying he loved me. But he in fact has talked to me twice. But I dont care because I know how he makes me feel. And right now hanging onto the dream is enough for meTake a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-84597659334976358212012-04-14T09:42:00.001-07:002012-04-14T09:42:30.806-07:00you have real issues. realomg you must be kidding!!!!! what is wrong with you peopl!!!!! 11. og my god damn idiots. can we just talk about how we have been planning this for months and today is the day that we decided to get ready. are you fucking kidding me. maybe you thought to your self this is important to mindy and this is something that we should remeber. ahhhhj fucking idiots I just want to shoot them in the face. we must be kidding. i better wake up and it better be 7am and we are leaving. fuck fuck fuck fuck. idiots. I hate late people, honestly there is nothing i hate more. Not a hard concept. at all.Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-84632102781370561712012-03-31T10:37:00.000-07:002012-03-31T10:37:12.417-07:00Sacrifice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV66CELTfITKhKP7KqK3inIEqI_y5tqY1VIVWhvD_uhWQqkjNXVqQfkUjIq6hFrcHA-lV07yG-QdcZqbC7j4OFPA-J3aYvVmHvddY3xdgeDaZJPSuH4IIm7qhZiRCbfk9doZ48N0OtQDGI/s1600/word_sacrifice_carved_in_gray_granite_stone_3237697.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV66CELTfITKhKP7KqK3inIEqI_y5tqY1VIVWhvD_uhWQqkjNXVqQfkUjIq6hFrcHA-lV07yG-QdcZqbC7j4OFPA-J3aYvVmHvddY3xdgeDaZJPSuH4IIm7qhZiRCbfk9doZ48N0OtQDGI/s320/word_sacrifice_carved_in_gray_granite_stone_3237697.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Being told what to do. Is there anything more horrible? Is there anything thats get me more angry? I would like to think that someday no one will ever tell me what to do. Parents, realigon, boss. I want nothing more that to be free. But its never going to happen. There will allways be someone with an option on what they think im doing right or wrong. Fuck off. That may be harsh. I just sometimes wonder if I had been born into a family that did not belive in god. I would be so different, slutty, drinking, no worries of what would happen if i did the things I want. I want him....but he does not want me....so whats a girl to do?Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-6861193057874386302012-03-30T05:52:00.000-07:002012-03-30T05:52:33.689-07:00I have no problem with saying goodbye.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbzPgF8o1pbtLsqoyyFkN6cd3_dhWn9sFJSeN1sc8g-IK20br9VP1LQXOZDYg8V8nrj3ssmMjXss4bnNVCII0P-9tsx49tUuRaUXDpmvVSJbW1-MCGQG9MU3t2PRhauhpexRh2_qFkJ8fs/s1600/6a00d83451c49a69e201538e1ed9d6970b-320wi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbzPgF8o1pbtLsqoyyFkN6cd3_dhWn9sFJSeN1sc8g-IK20br9VP1LQXOZDYg8V8nrj3ssmMjXss4bnNVCII0P-9tsx49tUuRaUXDpmvVSJbW1-MCGQG9MU3t2PRhauhpexRh2_qFkJ8fs/s1600/6a00d83451c49a69e201538e1ed9d6970b-320wi.jpg" /></a></div><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_1" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font: inherit; line-height: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">See I cant wake up, I'm living a nightmare</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_2" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font: inherit; line-height: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">that keeps playing over again</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_3" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font: inherit; line-height: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">locked in a room, so hung up on you</span><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_4" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #e6eff8; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #3a598f; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font: inherit; line-height: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;">and you're cool with just being friends</span><span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font: inherit; line-height: 15px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left; vertical-align: baseline;"><br />
I think that this writting down how I feel thing might have something to it.First off I get to see how insaine I am and that allways good. And second I have found that I truely have no one in my life that I can share with. Im not sure if that means that Im sad because I cant tell my best friends my problems or that I have succeded in keeping my private life private. I wish I was at a cross roads, pick this option or this option. But im not I am free to stay in this place of delusion. I should cry I should scream but I just sit back in the corner waiting for my number to be called. Its sad, but is a life I have come to grips with. A year from now ill be ready to go and move on, but for now this is honest. <br />
</span>Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-62447677139795097102012-03-28T19:44:00.000-07:002012-03-28T19:44:54.785-07:00Ahhhhh<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: xx-small;">So clearly I am insain. like lost my mind. MARRIED!! omg with 2 kids. its sick it really is. how is that what im chaseing? normal boy? nope not for me, I have to go and pick the hottest most married person on the planet. And can we jsut talk about how hot he is for a moment. I think his meaness is what makes him so goddamn hot. The way he snaps or tells people what to do. His sexual comments and his big man self. Im going to build a house. Well thanks nice, why dont I just jump you now. And do I think about how it might be hurting people, nope not even one bit. I think of myslef and myslef only, I onyl want to have instant gratification. OMG im going to loose my mind and he thinks im shy and fat. great. But who gives a fuck what he thinks right? its never going to matter. just because you had a thing with one married perosn does not mean you can have them all. Some of them stay faithful mindy!!!! you hoe your husband does right? so you so not push that on him and omg im not drinking for him. no fucking way in hell. </span><br />
<h4><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: xx-small;">I would rather die. die die die die die. omg my life is so sad</span></h4>Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-37020920134260133582012-03-27T19:18:00.000-07:002012-03-27T19:18:29.656-07:00And I know one thing that I love you.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSktPVO7Eq8t_ztRZU8wI9i3_uO0MhCjTgfdQpFMV74uJ9B7SkoXme8xWaTSc6sg8C-UvHx9kTUZv5Yuvdug6cYeZngS24aMguoCubgRXnw-Oqlm-dlxwVqAFo0fAunCUPU4Nr9hU_e9sw/s1600/be-honest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSktPVO7Eq8t_ztRZU8wI9i3_uO0MhCjTgfdQpFMV74uJ9B7SkoXme8xWaTSc6sg8C-UvHx9kTUZv5Yuvdug6cYeZngS24aMguoCubgRXnw-Oqlm-dlxwVqAFo0fAunCUPU4Nr9hU_e9sw/s320/be-honest.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><b><span style="color: #990000;">And I know one thing that I love you. Is there clarity in this insanity. For a fucked up person like me is there a happy ever after or is there just more loneliness. I have no problem letting everyone slip put of my life. they are just people. And who does that. and honestly I just don't care. People feelings have always been my second though. harsh and alone. I lisened to his voice for 2 hours to. if that does not make me the saddest most pathetic person on the planet i dont know what does.</span></b>Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-81699716859525771082012-03-18T20:33:00.000-07:002012-03-18T20:33:31.505-07:00So quiet<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiLnln0f09nkIJqEGFmhU-60lRNAg5YEf4LDXcDpGFBa8j_sIGgHxzTVtto9MbPW6f93QfQZH-6VCWy3iczueydU_mKQnQgMGSPsb3bZyKvV9xOf9RrIwivEp7ySSDtM0nHeo9Ugo96F7A/s1600/faith2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiLnln0f09nkIJqEGFmhU-60lRNAg5YEf4LDXcDpGFBa8j_sIGgHxzTVtto9MbPW6f93QfQZH-6VCWy3iczueydU_mKQnQgMGSPsb3bZyKvV9xOf9RrIwivEp7ySSDtM0nHeo9Ugo96F7A/s320/faith2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>The universal question: Will I be ok? I often feel like im going to grow up and be nothing. Never loved never helped never never never. I guess the obvious answer would be you need to go out and and do your dreams. Let nothing hold you back and all that jazz. No one ever tells you that that is not the way life works. You have to be responsible have a job go to collage not rattle to many cages. But by not rattling other peoples cages you are putting your self in one. I have ran away moe times then I can count/ Anywhere that would take me I have jumped on it. But I allways come home alittle more grateful for my life. I truely belive that Heavely Father has a plan for me. He is watching me thinking mindy just get it together so I can give you everything you have ever wanted. But in my sad times I forget he is looking out for me and I give up. I settle for boring and wrong. Trust. Trust in god. He will help me have the life and the babys and the husband and I will be happy. I just have to put my faith and trust in him. You should to..... I mean why would you not. A Private prayer......he is liseningTake a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-36636524494966150702012-03-18T11:43:00.000-07:002012-03-18T11:43:21.181-07:00So much for my happy ending<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdeBObZG5oKxjFVyMDtdI6LlqGt_ayeobNPyViBj4xq48Z-jQ4pBI_C1a-kDjvTuXQgK5f9ctdbtSaRl3jSJqM-kFSmOvd7utCE2KyXgLd6Ex8_k4TjjTNtA1lBwOtdMRjlLmBBTqlhfi1/s1600/tumblr_lyxzbp0N1f1qeajejo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdeBObZG5oKxjFVyMDtdI6LlqGt_ayeobNPyViBj4xq48Z-jQ4pBI_C1a-kDjvTuXQgK5f9ctdbtSaRl3jSJqM-kFSmOvd7utCE2KyXgLd6Ex8_k4TjjTNtA1lBwOtdMRjlLmBBTqlhfi1/s200/tumblr_lyxzbp0N1f1qeajejo1_500.jpg" width="199" /></a></div>When has it gone to far? When has a obsession completely taken over a person. When does a normal girl go from a crush to planning a wedding and kids? When the person says to you, " I just don't like you like that" and you love him more, does that make you crazy? Our first son's name will be Axel, i have planned the proposal, the fights the love all of it. And he does not like me. Why is it that all girls think that their happy ever after will happen? What if for some of us it is just not going to happen. I am horrible, I lie, Im fat and have done somethings that im not proud of. Has that taken me out of the running? Am I so horrible that no one will ever want me forever? But it gets worse, I don't want anyone else. Sometimes I think there might be potential with someone else or think to myself, " you should go for that guy." And then there he his, prince charming. And he is in my head. He is in my soul. I have convinced myself on one feeling that may have just come from my stupid mind that he will at anymoment change his mind and be in love with me. ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I need to figure out a way to drive it home, because no matter how many times I say it, in my heart I'm still waiting. Is that not the worst life you could possibly live? One of Waiting. Should I not be one of those people out there living there life not waiting but living. I hate those people. My sister, one of the most wierd sad and differant looking people is getting married, and I am not. Has that thrown me in a hole? yes. But what kinda person goes to the family of the man that does not lover her just because he is gone? its sad. really......I have to stop. But without the dream, I'm not sure what I haveTake a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-73061426678141735042011-12-11T10:11:00.001-08:002011-12-11T10:11:55.154-08:00roomateomg for the love of god i cant wait till you leave for the rest of the mounth. just go away andstop fucking cleaning and i dont know what the bloody problem is but its not my fucking problemTake a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-38675770291980106222011-11-06T15:35:00.000-08:002011-11-06T15:35:12.456-08:00It feels like it was yesterdayI HAVE never been one to walk away but its time. what am I walking away from> life, living. What is the point if I am going to do it all by myself. I have Believed in fate all this time and look where it has got me. it has got me in love with alot of people who do not love me back the end im done.Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-13742144385988679502011-10-14T12:31:00.001-07:002012-03-18T11:46:16.337-07:00Slow Dancing in A Burning Room<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvi8SJkKT237XqTerQHLEPPFoF23LPIDadwbpP-GZ8X5n_Pra1c4hPsrQH2-7Q9fqCtmpOC94rJrXLL1Y6aSbzxPtUvcJi_tP5Kl8NO61WRYx4bQ9qGqL7MMEMF3P8NLl1Q3rajlnOVnfs/s1600/180635_blown_out_candles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvi8SJkKT237XqTerQHLEPPFoF23LPIDadwbpP-GZ8X5n_Pra1c4hPsrQH2-7Q9fqCtmpOC94rJrXLL1Y6aSbzxPtUvcJi_tP5Kl8NO61WRYx4bQ9qGqL7MMEMF3P8NLl1Q3rajlnOVnfs/s200/180635_blown_out_candles.jpg" width="135" /></a></div>Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-13607259297901425082011-03-06T08:41:00.000-08:002011-03-06T08:41:24.788-08:00When is it real....?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizPzGTVP-Vf7B3TkOuo5A44ZCV11XD8mPtz5_i3YQWSNGrkWxq_f7z17pLblt_KOuL6tNEMECmFCfLBho_3PZp9Lmy217EqIxBFlQjci8mrmlRBQpg0pMwk9fbEqhOIWNiBZcBUlCTP2z0/s1600/ShovelDirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizPzGTVP-Vf7B3TkOuo5A44ZCV11XD8mPtz5_i3YQWSNGrkWxq_f7z17pLblt_KOuL6tNEMECmFCfLBho_3PZp9Lmy217EqIxBFlQjci8mrmlRBQpg0pMwk9fbEqhOIWNiBZcBUlCTP2z0/s200/ShovelDirt.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Going to another country.....sounds great right? not if your being sent there cause you just got out of rehab and your parents dont think you can handle the real world. I was ticked. A mouth in a 3rd world country digging in the sand for nothing that i care about, excellent. I let everyone know through my body langue and looks that if any of them tried to be my friend i might kill them. The whole 27 hour flight, the drive on the bus all of it, alone. But then the dig began. Coming from the spoiled life that I was used to the dirt and I were not getting alone at all. I worked with two boy. One a short little red head and one a boy that I could have sworn I had seen before. Hours and hours we worked together. Learning about eachother and making small chit chat. And then one day on the bus driving back I realized, it was him. Some how that little boy from the carnival had ended up on the other side of the world with me as a par5t of my excivading group. Fate.....Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-11449782653784894002011-02-26T10:56:00.000-08:002011-02-26T10:56:21.237-08:00We are young<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm7I_EhXgzZu1RYH-qG_lFZzEnlMnVtreD_9aKsB4v6SQUw5Fu4-cHKH3845vkJciY-0g3qEMsxaZSWOsjjzXzU8f6gRIOOgmNF-c3RGlHosxkcTTozyDsreK_EdB8cNgaCoRzfVNMn4I3/s1600/CarnivalBaloonsQ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm7I_EhXgzZu1RYH-qG_lFZzEnlMnVtreD_9aKsB4v6SQUw5Fu4-cHKH3845vkJciY-0g3qEMsxaZSWOsjjzXzU8f6gRIOOgmNF-c3RGlHosxkcTTozyDsreK_EdB8cNgaCoRzfVNMn4I3/s200/CarnivalBaloonsQ.jpg" width="144" /></a></div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;">I get bumped into alot. I have no idea why, and i have to say I really don't care for it. But that this carnival it turned out to be the bump that changed my life. I of course was in a bad mood and really did not want to be where I was. My nerd sister had dragged me cause she knew alot of people that were going to be there. I moaned and bitched hoping that I could bi-pass the event. Alas I found my self smack in the middle of it just standing there. At that point in my life I was to important to do things so stupid. I was 15 and still thought I was to cool for the world. I finally caught my sister and demanded that we leave. Practically draging her I was suddenly on the ground. I looked up to see who the idiot was that had just ran into me. It was a boy, younger, blound hair. blue eyes. My sister started talking to her and introduced me. I rolled my eyes and started walking away. And then I felt it, the "feeling" I turned around to take a look at this boy. That the boy your going to marry. And I have know it ever since</span></b>Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123170615689197590.post-87738300026374760352011-02-26T09:22:00.000-08:002011-02-26T09:22:51.363-08:00Since you have been away<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9litmPwoZIYkxzGyk7yv-jTTnBsoX70r0FhRVhiO0iV9gZ6bIMNEktkc4buA1TnU-od9fhCJFkFvmeyo7IS9Uz6aVfTe_Cg3BaIUu3oE-NzdNQ3Jbl2PKe8fjgXNuFdlMgRq-mgw37VHu/s1600/896920-xs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9litmPwoZIYkxzGyk7yv-jTTnBsoX70r0FhRVhiO0iV9gZ6bIMNEktkc4buA1TnU-od9fhCJFkFvmeyo7IS9Uz6aVfTe_Cg3BaIUu3oE-NzdNQ3Jbl2PKe8fjgXNuFdlMgRq-mgw37VHu/s320/896920-xs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I would always hear about pathetic girls that would get hooked on a guy and plan there whole lives. They would be far into there delusion that they would never even realize that the guy did not love them. I felt bad for them, I really did. I knew that if they moved on they would probably just find someone that would love them and they would not waste their time. But when I was 15 I meet the love of my life. There is no way to explain it or sadly any way to deny it. It pains me that I have to keep it to my self, but i refuse to be pathetic. I am 20 years old now, which means that it has been five years. I still can not deny what i felt and what my heart needs. I have decided to have a secret blog about it because I have to tell someone and lucky for me, you have no idea who I am. This will cover the love and the heart break and the recent dispearance from my life. I hope by writing it down I will come to some type of conclusion, because right now............Its a open book,Take a hinthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01773887701435812715noreply@blogger.com0