When has it gone to far? When has a obsession completely taken over a person. When does a normal girl go from a crush to planning a wedding and kids? When the person says to you, " I just don't like you like that" and you love him more, does that make you crazy? Our first son's name will be Axel, i have planned the proposal, the fights the love all of it. And he does not like me. Why is it that all girls think that their happy ever after will happen? What if for some of us it is just not going to happen. I am horrible, I lie, Im fat and have done somethings that im not proud of. Has that taken me out of the running? Am I so horrible that no one will ever want me forever? But it gets worse, I don't want anyone else. Sometimes I think there might be potential with someone else or think to myself, " you should go for that guy." And then there he his, prince charming. And he is in my head. He is in my soul. I have convinced myself on one feeling that may have just come from my stupid mind that he will at anymoment change his mind and be in love with me. ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I need to figure out a way to drive it home, because no matter how many times I say it, in my heart I'm still waiting. Is that not the worst life you could possibly live? One of Waiting. Should I not be one of those people out there living there life not waiting but living. I hate those people. My sister, one of the most wierd sad and differant looking people is getting married, and I am not. Has that thrown me in a hole? yes. But what kinda person goes to the family of the man that does not lover her just because he is gone? its sad. really......I have to stop. But without the dream, I'm not sure what I have
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