roomate

omg for the love of god i cant wait till you leave for the rest of the mounth. just go away andstop fucking cleaning and i dont know what the bloody problem is but its not my fucking problem

It feels like it was yesterday

I HAVE never been one to walk away but its time. what am I walking away from> life, living. What is the point if I  am going to do it all by myself. I have Believed in fate all this time and look where it has got me. it has got me in love with alot of people who do not love me back the end im done.

Slow Dancing in A Burning Room

When is it real....?

Going to another country.....sounds great right? not if your being sent there cause you just got out of rehab and your parents dont think you can handle the real world. I was ticked. A mouth in a 3rd world country digging in the sand for nothing that i care about, excellent. I let everyone know through my body langue and looks that if any of them tried to be my friend i might kill them. The whole 27 hour flight, the drive on the bus all of it, alone. But then the dig began. Coming from the spoiled life that I was used to the dirt and I were not getting alone at all. I worked with two boy. One a short little red head and one a boy that I could have sworn I had seen before. Hours and hours we worked together. Learning about eachother and making small chit chat. And then one day on the bus driving back I realized, it was him. Some how that little boy from the carnival had ended up on the other side of the world with me as a par5t of my excivading group. Fate.....

We are young

I get bumped into alot. I have no idea why, and i have to say I really don't care for it. But that this carnival it turned out to be the bump that changed my life. I of course was in a bad mood and really did not want to be where I was. My nerd sister had dragged me cause she knew alot of people that were going to be there. I moaned and bitched hoping that I could bi-pass the event. Alas I found my self smack in the middle of it just standing there. At that point in my life I was to important to do things so stupid. I was 15 and still thought I was to cool for the world. I finally caught my sister and demanded that we leave. Practically draging her I was suddenly on the ground. I looked up to see who the idiot was that had just ran into me. It was a boy, younger, blound hair. blue eyes. My sister started talking to her and introduced me. I rolled my eyes and started walking away. And then I felt it, the "feeling" I turned around to take a look at this boy. That the boy your going to marry. And I have know it ever since

Since you have been away

I would always hear about pathetic girls that would get hooked on a guy and plan there whole lives. They would be far into there delusion that they would never even realize that the guy did not love them. I felt bad for them, I really did. I knew that if they moved on they would probably just find someone that would love them and they would not waste their time. But when I was 15 I meet the love of my life. There is no way to explain it or sadly any way to deny it. It pains me that I have to keep it to my self, but i refuse to be pathetic. I am 20 years old now, which means that it has been five years. I still can not deny what i felt and what my heart needs. I have decided to have a secret blog about it because I have to tell someone and lucky for me, you have no idea who I am. This will cover the love and the heart break and the recent dispearance from my life. I hope by writing it down I will come to some type of conclusion, because right now............Its a open book,